domenica 30 novembre 2008

JUNE 2002

I should cry
on myself, on my misery, my laziness
instead soft soft
a crazy laugh shines
go to the hell my life,
my studies, the love
and the friendship.
be damn and destroyed
if seeing it you should rip off your throat
to shout: Hypocrite!
and now I'm crying , in a see of thoughs,
rowing against myself,fighting with the invisible
I'm beat by the non existent
I'm here, my laugh is attesting that
but I'm somewhere else too
with my cry.
***
IN FRONT
sound of a never heard voice
resound in the sky closed by a shadow
shadow made of light
pain made of love
and in the immense heart of life
rings cheerful the laugh of crying
hesitate heavy the merry sobs
life,
you are gourgeous, you are art, you are poem
I take you in the contradiction of my soul
lovely and solar friend,
big and deep eyes scanning the elusive
stop the pain, the rage, the resentment
get out from the time, the world, from yourself
and look without seeing,
hear without listening,
feel the silent full of words
feel the life vibrating inexpressible
in the spirit's kingdoom
and,in the evident contrast,
everything it's clear
the mistery reveals the only rational explanation
don't know how, don't ask me why
I just know that exist
Anna, friend with a laughing heart,
with a flying mind
with nursing hands,
open your eyes made to speak
and look
the love that understand without words
is holding tight your mute heart
that shout from the abyss of despair
is tighting you, is hugging you
it's right there, it's present
it's more...
is inside you

AGED POEMS

FAIRY TALE

leave him between the words, in the kingdoom of Saying
leave him like a sigh...to don't get it anymore
leave him without thinking,
like a raindrop on the glass.

leave him in the most gentle memories of istants without time
of looks without shyness, of hearts without peace

even more now, sticks out what is not cancelled by the time,
magnificent and terrifying contemplating how much feeling,
how strong and how deep is the track inside me

leave him in the dark made of life,
leave him in the privileged corner,
secluded in the center of my universe,
nestled between two strips of sky
playing,
like Cupid, with the small stars

fairy tale dreams and see you
fleeting reality, slow river
made and scented of flowers.

***
WONDERFUL THOUGHT

extreme sensations entwine
weave togethere thick woofs
and then totally diverge

calm mix with the most impalpable loliness
joy with a sweet and sour flavour
nothing I would change

and in my world happily lonely
between the most imaginative thoughts I rock myself
into the most daring plans I dive
and everything is just so simply
so complicated and so seductively vital.

and I enjoy the slightest sensation as the most appaling,
I feel my life in my hands like never before
and I don't control it neither I waste it
I just feel it, almost grazing it
like tought of word,
power not already in action.

***

THE PAST IN THE PRESENT

lost smiles in the sea of nothing
walking in places exploding of memories

memories, istants live in the present,
made of scents, scented of flavours
oh past nights, how much are you alive tonight?
and my soul is always questioning me,
is never getting calm, is not letting me in peace
she wants to know, why?

she asks and search from her depth
why are you keeping in your hearth those thoughts
that are tearing off you?

the answer is soft and silent
so wanted to not be found
dead leaf in the fall wind
wandering in the sky with no aim
in an over love's season

***
THE BEAUTY

a tought emerges,
word lost in the dreaming,
becomes true, drags herself
then falls weak full of rage.

how many words leftover?
how many jokes?

and yet they taste of cry
subdued and strangled cry,
not a human cry

different like any flower
with a common colour
and yet unique and rare
like a luminescent gem
with sparks sounding of universe

and fall...but doesn't rest,
is up again, is alive, is lonely
is gourgeous like the midnight sun
that smash the stones
of the sky street.

CARPE DIEM

SINGING THE ETERNAL LOVE AND HIS OPPOSITE
CELEBRATING THE LIFE AND THE DEATH
EXPLORING A VAGABONDING MIND
PRIDE OF THE DARKEST OBSCURITY

DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE PLACE WHERE I'M COMING FROM
OR THE REASON WHY I'M LIVING
JUST WHAT I'M FEELING AND HOW DEEPLY.
***

I'M AFRAID AND SHAKING
SECOND AFTER SECOND
NIGHTMARES NAG ME DESTROYING MY SLEEP

TOO BEAUTIFUL DREAMS
SLIDING DOWN WRETCHED
WHILE WISHES TURN AGAINST ME

AND IF I THINK THAT JUST ONE HUG
COULD WIN ME
FOR EVER FOR EVER
THAT IF HE ONLY KISSED ME
I COULD LIVE
FOR EVER FOR EVER

EVEN THOUGH I ASK MYSELF TIRED IF I WANT TO LIVE
ALWAYS KEEPING HOPING AND DESPAIRING
ACTRACTED AND RETRACTED ENDLESS TIMES
FROM ENDLESS FACES
LONGING A PEACE I COULD NEVER STAND

AND I'M JELOUS OF MY MIND THAT CAN BE WITH HIM
IN HIS ARMS
FOR EVER
THAT CAN LOOK AT HIM STRAIGHT IN HIS EYES
AND KISS HIM
FOR EVER
***

INCREDIBLY

LOOKING MY LIFE IN THE MIRROR OF MY BROWN EYES
AND I FOUND THEM UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL LOVELY AND NICE,
FULL OF MEMORIES LIKE TEARS FILLING UP MY DEEP INFINITE
ILLUSORY IMAGES, SUICIDAL WEAPON
MY EYES KNOW AND MY LOOK SEE THE FIXED CHASM
NOT BACK ANYMORE, JUST AHEAD
JUST ALL, JUST MINE
AND WHILE I'M DIVING IN THE EMPTINESS
CRAZY ADDICTED...IN MY TIRED EYES SPARKLE THE AWARENESS
THAT MY ONLY PARACHUTE IS MY POEM.

SKY FRAGMENT
IS IN THE AIR AN UNLIMITED FLAVOUR

A SKY FRAGMENT IN THE UNIVERSAL
MIX SALT ON MY BURNT SOUL
USELESS POEMS DEAD LINES TRANSMITTING LIFE AS NOTHING BEFORE
AND FINALLY THE NIGHT COMES WHEN WILL A NEW DAY BORN?
A NEW WORLD?
THE NIGHT OF THE TIMEFULL OF BAREFOOT OBVIOUSNESSES
WALKING JUST ON THEMSELVES
NO WORDS ANYMORE
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY POEMS?

THAT BIZARRE FEELING THAT USED TO CHANGE EVERYTHING...
MAYBE I HAVE NO WORDS ANYMORE
TO DESCRIBE THE PRESENT
CAUSE THERE IS NO NEED OR CAUSE I DON'T FEEL I WANT TO FIND THEM
I MISS THAT SMALL SIGNS THOUGHTHAT CRIPPLE LINES PACKED OF LOVE
THAT HIGH VOICE SINGING THE LIFE
THAT RECEDING HANDWRITINGMEANING BEAUTY
BETWEEN THOSE WALLS LIVES
IN THOSE LINES SPEACKSIN THOSE PAGES IS...HER!
THE ONE I SEE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
THE ONE I FEEL TOUCHING MYSELF
THE ONE I HATE ON THE SCALE
THE MYSTIC - WORLDLY MIX I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
SOMEONE CONTRADICTORY THAT NEVER STOPS AMAZING ME
***
LIVE THE MOMENT


IS USELESS WRITING
USELESS THINKING BUT STILL I'M DOING IT
JUST THE POEM CAN RESCUE MY SOUL LOST AMONG COLD ILLUSIONS
MY LIFE CLOSE INTO REGRETS
MY MIND TWISTED IN AFTERTHOUGHTS
A NEW LIFE IS STARTING
WILL I BE SO BRAVE TO LIVE THE MOMENT?
***
NO NEED


DIDN'T NEED YOUR BIG EYES
THAT RUNNING AFTER ME MADE ME STOP
DIDN'T NEED YOUR HOME SCENT
TO ESCAPE REFUGING IN YOUR SOFT SKIN
DIDIN'T NEED YOUR INCREDIBLE ATTENTIONS
MAYBE JUST A WORD
TO GET BEYOND THE TIME
***

EXCUSE


DO YOU NEED AN EXCUSE TO STAY?
DID YOU NEED ANOTHER LOOK?
WHATEVER...IF IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
WHATEVER...IF IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL ALIVE
JUST TOUCH ME AND I'M GONNA FEEL IMMORTAL
JUST BE INSIDE ME AND I'M GONNA SENSE THE LIFE
ONE MORE TIME PLEASE
ONE MORE TIME
***

GOING

TRYING DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT
MOVING MY HANDS FAST WITH NO SENSE
GOING HOME...COMING FROM HOME
CONFUSING WHAT SHOULD BE SO CLEAR
FEELING SO ALIVE YOU CANNOT IMMAGINE
ROMA, I KNOW I'LL BE BACK SOONSOON
WHEN I'LL BE READY TO HANDLE YOU AGAIN
SOON CAN BE WHENEVER
SOON AND I'M SHAKING TALKING WITH MYSELF
DON'T THINK ABOUT SOON MY FRIEND, KEEP LIVING NOW
KEEP WALKING TOWARD YOUR FUTURE
MAYBE CRYING, MAYBE LAUGHING
PUTTING ONE STEP AFTER THE OTHER
NEVER STOP GOING