DECEMBER 2002

SHOW
if I only wanted
I would pour my tired soul
in that immaculate sheet
one more time
only one more time
if I only was so brave of writing
not those simple and descriptive words
but those unlimited and multiform one
that live in my mind
harassing him
questions of questions
senseless memories
wandering useless and perverse
small toughts tought just to go crazy
there is an error in the system
is autodestroying itself
eliminating at first the joys
then the pains and then the strenghts
nothing will be left
so you will be happy
and you will dance mocking and beffarde
on your dead body

***
FINAL

in the suicidal streets
you can notice yuor being
in the alcohol streets
you can find death thoughts
and then comes a shadow
in the soul, in the ocean that divide us
a kiss is a moment
that is always repeating
and die right away
with the worry and memory of that istant
while is loosing himself
never scratched, convincing himself to be strong
to be not just to look
all and nothing fit togethere
but not in love
not in the substancial reality
of something that will be
just inside me
inside my last blow of life
***
CONTINUOUS LIGHTNING

return and shake
in the same moment arrived
the memory of you
of that rebellious istant
in which I would have been part of you
and posses all the secrets
of those laughing eyes
eyes of a baby lost in this world
with me
then born and shut up,
in a instant
eternal like a kiss,
the anxiety of penetrate your being
your mind that fly fearless
and your heart, sweet stranger
finally think and wander
and your face is confusing
incredulous in my tought
like an old photo
between the tormented waters
of my soul

***

IS STILL NIGHT

who knows how many arms squeezed you
tonight that follows the dreaming?
how many mysterious ladies seduced
your shining and thoughful eyes?
how many words you said
with your running and unique mounth?
senteces and thoughts that I lost
fragments of you
lost in the vortex
and me, crazy, trying to reach them
maybe I wander in your mind too
close and far memory
my immagine hit you
but not like your hit me
and not so much
and me, mad,
trying to reach you

***

THE ALL AND THE NOTHING

if I were a point
I would shine like in the sky
like underground, shaking and jumping
like a tear vibrated with an invisible hand
in the height I can listen
the irrepressible sublimate strength
I sing the unreal and his essence
I praise the all and the nothing
connected in my soul
I dance on the empty graves
of my love thoughts
I play every second
in the theatre of my life
exists,there is, happens, moves
ask and you will know
you can see the clarity in the mist
in the unveiled obscurity
massive objects
nothing is impossible to be seen
wanting it
everything is possible to do
if you only can
and that is the absurdity of every impotence

FALL 2002

SCRAPS
dirty of years
accumulate from centuries
for a second I saw everything old
abandoned
I contemplated myself in a sea of putrefaction
it's not me
it's not my life
it's absurd
and in a such absurdity
everything is fulfilled
now is in peace the past
made of mistakes, joys and tears
the future makes sense
even if is not lived yet
but is loved already
I find my aim
accomplishing that contraddiction
I accomplish myself

***
ALMOST OFF FIRE

I wish you could listen those words
your words
who are you?
I don't know you yet
and you are already oppressing me
hidden love
made of if, but and maybe
show yourself like the sun
or the night
like a whirl made of quiet
or like a placid fire
nothing more!
I don't need you
I squeeze my life in my arms
protecting her from the await arrive
that upset and calm at the same time
more than the day
more than the water
green of gold
trought the heart of the world
a soft promise of happyness
is travelling
***
OPEN SKY

impossible explaining a quid
made of my same unease
born from the bright whirlpools
from the sleeping storms
in my soul
dreaming an american night
when everything seemed possible
thinking about that moments
is like I can look at them, one by one
they pass slow getting by fast
where are they taking me?
genius of the heights
light of my ancestors
let me feel, please,
what I cannot see
and love and kiss
what maybe a day I will touch

****
I let pass the days
pushing them toward the unknown
toward a sunset that is beauty

look and pass
but inside die, moment after moment
and is senseless, absurd and desperate
but is like that!
angry and disappointed
looking wrong the world
trying to love it at the same time

touch everything
every tought, every sigh
not the time though
that feel inside
while is scanning the infinitive
and countingdown to the end

***
OUTBURST I

I have to let them out
give them a shape
colour them with the red of my passion
with the black of my fear
with the white of my pallor
when I just think about you
I have to write in lines
what is persecuting me
what makes my life so lovely
and so hateful at the same time
I have to describe
my eyes wide open during night
and behind them
all my incoherent dreams telling about you
I need to take note of the annoyng pain
almost a burning
that takes me in the stomach
and doesn't leave me anymore
in the very same moment I'm sure
that you will not want me

II

every gesture is futile and senseless
why wake up?
if sleeping I can keep on looking at you
taking refuge between your arms
afraid and shaking
like when I was a girl
when I used to spend awake the night
imaging to be surrounded
by the most monstruous,
the most ruthless and wicked creatures
and then sleep, tiredness
came to bless my sick mind
came to cure me, sweet balm
the sound of your voice
the heat of your body
that gently rock me
singing a lullaby
so sad and dull
but so restful

III

remember that night like now
see again that scene like true
on the contrary it was a dream
but not in my mind
and my being was nourished by it
my senses and my soul
sipping slowly that hug
you
sweet dream
with a human look
you surrounded my fears,
my 16 years made of complex and uncertainty,
with the most passionate hug
has never embraced me
and in a second I saw my heart
join the night
just to plot behind you
another fleeting meeting like that one
to let me fly
beyond the heights

IV

so anguished remember people
that are with Death
but is even more mournful
remember when she took them
with her for ever
for ever
unfortunatly that was not a dream
was an unstoppable reality
indelible, uneliminated
written, read and read again
in the destiny's book
in such painful reality
I, little and hidden,
comforted your son's heart
left alone
in such bad world
so awful, so horrible
that at least
gave me you

V

wind is crazy, let the windows beat
and stir the fall leaves
in that autumn of love
make senseless gestures
like make me fall in love with you
and demand to be followed
in such stupidity
afoot the most sublime moments
like the most ill-omened
he wants take me away with him
crazy old
wants to sacrifice me on his altar
enlightened with scattered flowers
and raining petals
oh my sweet new love
maybe you will have me or maybe not
my mind hang in the balance
between madness and wisdom
and pick the second cause she wants it
and fall in the first
cause she cannot do without

VI

reckless
just for another praise
I will resist looking straight in your eyes
and telling you what I have inside
that neither I know
finding a name
an adjective
an article
for that eager mania
for that incontinence never repressed
for that beneficial outlet
for that love
that posses me all
and I, unhappy and incomplete,
let him posses me
conscoius that later
sure,certain and proof
I will regret it
and want forget your existence
so pleasant and sad to me
at the same time

VII

come to me
another time, the last one
stay by my side
life dream
craved sigh
with a soft squeeze
with a look more penetrating than my night
now enlightened by only one star
that instead of showing the way
is making me vagabonding
miserable from the land of desire
to that of not fulfilment
from the reckless lands of love
to those bare of ignorance
from that cosy land of poem
to that inhospitable of anxiety
that drag me in this world
now turn beautiful
just because of your presence

***

old and sick
unable to love
you suck
more terrible of every disaster
is hating himself
you come decrepit
and cry
I'm not even pityful for you anymore
and I hate even those lines
cause I can see myself between them
crazy and tired
the moment I was so afraid of
arrived
I went crazy
now, I'm sorry for me
but I can hurt myself so badly
and so rightly
crazy like the wind
raging like a foul

SUMMER 2002

SUMMER

go in the night quilt of open dreams

feel the forest pride of a leaf

give a shout, last kiss of the silence

indistinct, hushed, wretched

but at the same time always

alive,pulsing,wrapping

leave me in the winter

if I saw the light

I would die

if I couln't embrace and enclose it

filling it with me

irregular essences

meeting in the summer of time

then the final push and out

ejected in the world, surrounded by eyes

touched by smiles, squeezed by kisses

then on your legs

you have to walk, go

then between friends

you have to talk, yes

then between guys

you have to love, come on

vital necessity, worthy friend

don't leave me,

final push in the dark

in the night of a dreaming baby

dream that goes on

show me the way

lost in the forest, a woman asks, a girl hopes

never sigh that shout

***

ECHO

rise up a star

in the narrow and insipid life

is showing a way

don't leave me lovely pulsar

heat me more

stay in the time, much more than cold,

incandescent

how can you calm a spreading wildfire?

how can a star shine more than the sun?

and the dead moon watch

freezing the dawn between the clouds

feeling and seeing everything

moving the wings of an empty love

vacuous like kisses steal from a fool

like hugs squeezed to not fall down

like strokes lost in the time

under skies fraught of sentence and forgiveness

dare the impossible

in the unreality of a sleeping dream

kidnap knight in the firmament

excluded from me

****

RAYS

I saw far fire burning

listening light looks

in the middle of life

in the thing par excellance

I feel weave my soul

and I aim beyond the world

I would give everything

just to take all the beauty

in one moment.

empty Narcissus

there is not just your face

where are the nymphs and the nature?

everything takes, everything gives

Beauty

***

evident like a wind blow

so hot to light up

a clear sky

touching the infinitive

in my face

***

DROPS

a whirlpool dull and ardent

gentle obscurity

after a long search

at the end

appear

Shadow goddess, friend

pouring yourself in immaculate sheets

like nothing is happening

a day pass

an year and..

nothing more

nothing more is questioning or gnawing

it seems sleeping

in the iced corner

you speak

and she offers you just one distract ear

made of mist

who could never wake her up?